Stories from Ambagamuwa Area Development Program
Sivakumar’s Story
Sivakumar is an estate worker who married at age 24. After one year of marriage, he was badly burned in an accident that left his face permanently scarred. Unable to cope with the trauma of the accident and his physical disfiguration, Sivakumar began to binge drink and to use verbal and physical violence against his wife, who left the abusive relationship.
Sivakumar remarried after five years, and he began to use violence against his second wife Sakunthala. Sakunthala remained with Sivakumar, despite the insistence of her parents that she return home.
Meanwhile, Sivakumar had the opportunity to join a MenCare fathers’ group conducted by the Ambagamuwa ADP. In the groups, he learned about the importance of active participation in childcare; equitable distribution of household responsibilities; promotion of gender equality within the family and the community; healthy and nonviolent relationships; sexual and reproductive health and rights; moderating alcohol consumption; and social responsibility. The experience led him to transform his attitudes and behaviors:
“It is only after attending the MenCare program that I understood that my life had to change. I didn’t care for my wife and the child before,” Sivakumar said. “I didn’t think of the future of my child.”
“But I now help my wife,” he explained. “I take care of my daughter while she works in the estate. I am also able to save money for the future of my child. I have opened a bank account and I deposit some money monthly for her.”
Sakunthala also attests to her husband’s change:
“On the days my husband used to get paid, he would come home drunk,” she said. “But now when we get the salary, we both go to the city to buy what we need for the rest of the days. We give our daughter what she needs. My husband does household work in my absence and takes care of her. I am very happy about his change of behavior. My only hope is to give a good education for my child.”
